| happy hanukkah if you're currently celebrating, and happy holidays to the rest of you! |
[13 Dec 2009|07:22pm] |
It usually takes me a little while to get into the Christmas spirit. I don't know what it is - maybe it happens with age, or with experience - but when I was little I remember the second it started to get cold I was ready for Christmas. The air has a certain smell to it, like chimney smoke lingering with the brisk smell of winter, that's when it used to start. Now it seems like that wonderful smell is just the first step in a series that gets me prepared for the holiday season. I love that smell, but it just doesn't seem to be enough any more.
It started this year with hearing that goddamn Christmas Shoes song on the radio. You know the one I'm talking about, and if you don't, I'm more than happy to provide a link. I have a really violent love/hate relationship with that song. But I stumbled across it last week - they snuck it into a commercial free hour that included Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga, how was I supposed to anticipate that? But I heard the first second and a half and snapped my hand out so fast to change the station that I probably could have caught a fly if I was trying (yes, like a ninja). That set me back a bit, and put me in an absolutely terrible mood for the rest of the day. But two nights ago... two glorious nights ago... the second best Christmas movie in the whole world was on television. Rudolph, the one with the craaaazy looking abominable snowman, was on my television. I grabbed a glass of chocolate milk, plopped myself on the sofa, and allowed the Christmas spirit to fill me with love and joy.
I remember identifying with it as a kid because I always felt different, though no one seemed to notice, and because of that I was really defensive when someone would bully a kid because they were different. In this version of Rudolph they obviously make fun of him for having a red nose, but even Santa does in this one! And then he runs away from home, eventually meeting up with an elf that doesn't want to make toys, he wants to be a dentist. I know if you haven't seen it this sounds ridiculous, but stay with me here. They go off on this journey and eventually end up at the Island of Misfit Toys, which is populated with toys that no little girl or boy loves. It always made me really sad, and it still does. Regardless, watching the end of the movie - where the elf gets to be a dentist, Santa finds loving homes for the misfit toys, and Rudolph leads the sleigh? Well, let's just say my heart grew three sizes that night.
I went by Saturday and helped my parents decorate the tree - they're not spring chickens anymore, y'know? But it was great. My mom made hot cocoa and we all sat around and stared at the lights until we were nearly blind. They're my favorite part of the holiday - I used to lie under the tree and stare up through the branches for hours. When my parents went to bed that night, I couldn't help but crawl under there and imagine I was five again. I guess it takes me a while to get into the spirit, but as soon as it happens I feel like I always have: full of that magical hope and love you can only replenish at Christmas time.
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| journal entry. |
[13 Nov 2009|04:07pm] |
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darkness has a hunger that's insatiable, and lightness has a call that's hard to hear( . )
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| biography. |
[24 Oct 2009|05:51pm] |
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It's never where are you going, it's always where have you been. So where have you been( ? )
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| connections. |
[23 Oct 2009|09:45pm] |
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And if you lead, I'd blindly follow down an empty street, I'd lose my shadow( . )
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